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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in *Wonkalicious*'s LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 29th, 2011
6:25 pm
I will most likely start a new livejournal soon as I've started writing
fics again and what not. :) I will defenitely inform you guys. <3
Thursday, September 8th, 2011
5:26 pm
So I'm going to Washington D.C. for a week on Saturday!

I'm pretty excited and I hope there's enough free time to discover the city as I'm going there with university and we'll be doing lots of visiting museums and monuments. My plan is to eat as much American candy as I can instead of real food, hehe. Especially looking forward to Twizzlers and Nerds!

I will always be an England girl, but I think seeing America properly now will kinda get me closer to the American music I listen to. I feel Iggy Pop and My Chemical Romance are pure US in a sense!
Whoever wants postcards - pass you address quick!! heddonkitten ~*at*~ yahoo . de !

Love! x

Current Mood: excited
Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
5:29 am
What a year it has already been!
Dear friends,

Oh, dears. What a year it has been already. The troubles just keep rolling in.

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Current Mood: contemplative
Thursday, January 20th, 2011
9:22 pm
Dear all
I'm sorry I haven't been on here anymore, but I connect so many bad memories with this journal.
There were fun times, but a lot of people I liked have stopped posting or I lost touch with them.
I didn't feel like pouring my heart out here anymore because everything always came across the wrong way. It's hard to show who you really are and what you really care about to online-only friends. I don't like the masquerade any people put on here. So many people use the internet to make themselves look so much better and to paint a fabulous picture of themselves that is nowhere near reality.
This is no "Goodbye Internet" post, heavens, no! But I just want to explain why I was have (unconciously) stopped posting here. If any of you want to stay in touch, facebook is a good way to reach me and my email address ist still the same. If you want to get in touch, message me, comment with some means of contacting you or whatever. I will still post on here occasionally, but for close contact you are more than welcome to add me on facebook, myspace or some of the many messenger services I use (like ICQ, skype, AIM and MSN).

I hope you are all doing well and I'd be delighted to hear from you guys - we might have not been in close touch but I don't forget anyone, ever.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Saturday, April 24th, 2010
3:51 am
Today, the worst thing a loving pet owner can imagine happened. :(
My sweet Tinkerbell died. It still seems so unreal. She was perfectly well last night, chirping with her friend Finchen (my father's guinea). Then this morning, she was sitting in the left corner of the cage with a tear streak unter her eyes and breathing heavily. When I offered her a guinea pig treat, she ate, so we thought she ought to be fine. I was having a pretty bad migraine and went back to bed. An hour later my mum came in and said that Tink is worse and that we ought to go to the vet. I lept out of bed and put on some clothes. When my mum picked Tinkerbell up, she had really bad spasms and wound herself out of my mum's arms. She fell, and my mum feels terribly guilty of this, but I think the spasms were already a sign of her dying. I quickly went to the bathroom and put my shoes on, but I already hurt my mum crying that Tink is dead...
It was horribly.. we were in the living room for what seemed like an hour and held her, and it also seemed so weird. There were no signs of her being ill before, so this confuses us so much.
My mother and I lay in her bed all day, crying. My headaches got worse and I got sick again, so we had to go to the doctor to get a quick IV drip because I was close to fainting. My headache had gottne out of hand from all the crying, but how could I not... from one day to the other my baby dies.
This was defenitely a horrible, horrible day.
We are worried about Finchen, too. I hope Tinkerbell didn't have an infection. My mum and I will take Finchen to the vet on monday so he can check if she's okay.
I don't feel well at the thought of it, but we are considering getting another guinea pig from the animal shelter because I don't want Finchen to die of loneliness. I often heard this happens and I don't want that. But we won't get a baby one. That would just feel wrong and I believe it will be better to offer an unwanted guinea from the shelter a new home... the ones at the animal shops will find an owner eventually, but an old one from the shelter won't and deserves a chance.
Let's hope for the best. :(

The good news I can offer is that the contract for the flat will be signed next week on friday, which I am very excited about. We will move in in July and start cleaning and painting in mid-June.
I feel so glum I can't really wallow in excitement now, but I have a video of my room and the kitchen that I will upload soon. I would be happy on advice how to paint it - I considered painting one wall purple and the other black.

Current Mood: sad
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
11:09 pm
The Mighty Move - Part II
Back again with more flashy flat hunting news! ;)

This is really exciting! I feel a bit bad about getting the bigger room, but admittedly I really do have more things than Lina. It's really kind of her. We agreed that in exchange, she can put her desk in the living room.
The kitchen really need a throrough scrub and we will defenitely spend a few hours in there, but my mother looked at it today and said it can be worked on! The bathroom is in good condition and the owner will put a little glass door on top of the bathtub so it then is perfectly suitable to use as a shower.
What we're going to do next is browse the shops for PVC floors. I'm probably going to get a checkerboard floor again and Lina hinted she'd like it for her room and the living room too, so we're pretty much set! I hope they still have the one I used in my room, too - it was cheap and quite good quality!
I haven't decided on a colour for my room.. we really need to work out the colours, heh!

I can't wait to go on a little photography tour in the house - the garden is magical. Secluded, a bit wild but there is defenitely some romantic structure someone set up.

Let me show you how beautiful it looks from the outside (under the cut!)!!

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Current Mood: calm
11:54 am
The Mighty Move and everything else!
Hello dear friends!

I have once again returned to my journal which I am ashamed of abandoning so often... but in the end, I am glad it's there. Like every internet tool, it has caused pain and confusion at times, but out of all the things I use on the internet, LJ has been the most fun. I got to know some very interesting, kind people, had funny moments and serious moments as well and I might have even learned a lot here. I still believe keeping a jorunal, on- or offline and even if only casually, may help dealing with negative feelings but also with reviving positive ones! Sometimes I look through old entries and have a lot to smile and laugh about!

I've left you lot quite in the dark about what's happening in my life, but some important and exciting things have been happening! :) To not litter your friends list, this goes on behind the cut!

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Current Mood: happy
Monday, January 25th, 2010
12:06 am
Avatar, university and challenges
Hello everyone!

I've been having a tough time lately (and I am sorry you are hearing this from me for years now!), but I think I am dealing with it and making it through. At least, these are problems that can be targetted!

I am still not finding it easy to adjust at university. I feel liked I missed the moment where you had to jump on the wagon and allow yourself to be pulled along (I mean that in the friend-making sense and not the "becoming like everyone else" way, heh!). It's difficult for me because I am used to just making friends very easily in a specified group, like a class at school. But at university I am with different people in every lesson... that kind of makes it hard to recognize people.
I wrote my first exam on saturday and when my dad dropped me off, I was feeling really bleak - I thought I was never gonna pass. I am not entirely sure how it went - I might have invented my very own phonetic writing, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... and even if I failed I am allowed to re-do it in March I think. I felt a lot better when the exam was over - I actually think it might have taken away some of my general university fear. Plus I got to know a really nice girl called Hici who immediately gave me her phone number and name on a German student online platform and told me to not hesitate to call her. She said she lived on her own next to university and could do with a friend to study with. I told her I was feeling very lonely as well and she was being very sweet and open. I was really surprised and I really hope we can stick together a little.

I have been with Marco for two years now and it is not going well. I have decide to take step and talk to him long and earnest tomorrow. I am not happy. Our relationship is making me sad. He is, sadly, holding me back. I have been doing a lot for him in the last two years - given him so much support, moral and material, and I feel like it has not helped either of us.
It can not be of any use to carry on as I feel sad and he doesn't benefit from it either.
This will be sad because some of you know the pain I feel when a relationship is not working out, but I know this is the sensible step to take.
I really need to be on my own so I can be at peace. I liked feeling responsible for him at first, but I feel more like a mother now and this is not the way it is supposed to be. I know this is better for me, and maybe for him, too. But it will be hard. I don't want someone to feel terrible and hurt because of me, but I suppose there is no way around it.

When I was in London between Christmas and New Year I went to see the Official Michael Jackson Exhibition at the O2. It was really nice! I wish Nora had been with me because she has been in love with Michael since childhood, just like me. We are both lucky to have parents that care so much about music because being raised to the tunes of Cat Stevens (Yusuf now), Kate Bush and Michael Jackson is probably a good foundation! My life may have been a triple pack of trouble by now already, but the soundtrack to it has always been brilliant... I really owe all my music inspiration to my parents and my first online friend Ziggy.
Anyway, the exhibition was really lovely with a lot of jackets and props displayed, and even the cute oil paintings of Michael as a prince and a knight - I loved it. Entry was fairly expensive at 12 pounds with student discounts, but it was worth it. I bought a nice men's watch in the souvenir shop and I am really wearing it. It's big and fancy, just the way I like it. I always prefered men's watches.

Oh dear, now, Avatar! I loved it. Some people slagged it off for having a too simple plot and God knows what other reasons, but I really enjoyed it. I was in a sad mood when I went to the cinema with Jessica and she was joking on the bus to cheer me up, but my mind was still working out different issues. But when we sat there and the movie began - wow! The movie served as escapism for me! My mind was totally set on it and I found all these things that had sadly occupied me before ease away. When a movie does that to me, it's perfect. I know a lot of good movies, but not many of them do this "job" for me. Not many completely draw me into the world they create. What I also liked about Avatar is that it awoke creativity in me, not obsession. That's the way it should be I suppose!
So, all together, I really, really enjoyed it and truly recommend it. You will enjoy it for sure, even if it's just the great vision.

Have you guys seen Avatar? Did you like it, do you have a favourite scene?
What have you been up to lately? How did your survive the holidays?

Cheers & Love,


Current Mood: artistic
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
10:56 am
Seriously, why?
I miss you, even tho you are ignoring me for a while now. I always looked up to you because we connected on more levels then you were aware of. I think we were sharing a problem. I never told you. Hope you read this. I miss you, I wish we could still be friends, take care. x

Current Mood: confused
Sunday, July 5th, 2009
5:30 pm
Please please sign this
I saw this as a child in Disneyland Paris, France. I would give
a lot to see it there again. PLEASE sign this!

As a tribute to Michael Jackson please sign this petition to
bring back one of the greatest films/attractions Disneyland
has ever had, Captain EO. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s
an amazing 3D movie shown during the late 80s early 90s starring
Michael Jackson and directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Here’s
the link: http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/CaptainEO

Current Mood: hopeful
Friday, June 26th, 2009
8:57 pm
In honor of the King of Pop: What is your favorite Michael Jackson song?

Man in the mirror!
11:10 am
Man in the mirror
Michael Jackson is dead.

I feel like I have been slapped in the face. Pretty much no one understands how I
am feeling right now. He has been an essential part of my childhood and maybe my
life altogether. He has sparked my wish to sing and the constant desire to entertain
others. In the kindergarten, I forced the other children to act out "Moonwalker"
with me. At home, I lingered over the cassette cover of "Dangerous", which had his
eyes on it.. I felt a tingling in my tummy that I still feel now - when I have fallen
in love. I was five back then. My brother had me watched "Moonwalker" about 50 times,
we danced and sung and I was so jealous of the children in the movie, because I
wished Michael would be my friend or big brother.
With the image of characters such as Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan, I was for a
short time convinced you could only be successful if you are black. Man, was I
innocent, but I think Michael Jackson gave a lot of people hope - including me.
Four years ago, I had an extreme Michael Jackson phase. It helped me through a time
where I was not feeling well. I had lost my confidence and concentrated on things
that harmed me. He brought my feet back to the ground and reminded me of the beautiful
things in life.

Michael Jackson has given me so much. I know there is a place after life, and I hope
he is there. I hope he is happy. I hope he has the power to accept himself and know
that he has changed many lives across the world.

I love you, Michael. You will be missed, but never forgotten. Your music will keep
changing lives.

Current Mood: shocked
Monday, April 20th, 2009
1:42 pm
Fill this out NOW!
Please fill this out and then repost it on your blog so others will do so, too!

1. Can you cook?
2. What was your dream growing up?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favourite place?
5. Favourite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. What zodiac sign are you ?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
9. Worst Habit?
10. Do we know each other outside of lj?
11. What is your favourite sport?
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
16. Do you have any pets?
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena?
18. What time is it where you are now?
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22. What colour eyes do you have?
23. Ever been arrested?
24. Bottle or Draft?
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
27. What 's your favourite bar to hang at?
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
29. Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
30. Do you swear a lot?
31. Biggest pet peeve?
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Current Mood: amused
Sunday, September 21st, 2008
2:02 am
A million in prizes
What can I say? The Iggy Pop concert has filled me with inspiration from the split ends of my hair to my toes. I am trying to write songs again and our band is improving. We do need our own songs.. covers are good to get started, but we can not be anyone if we cover.

Iggy was so raw, wild and sexy. It's so hard to describe, but I felt so personally touched (and physically too, hehe.. we touched twice and exchanged looks pretty often).

My first row of exams is almost over..

In the booklet of "American Caesar" and on the CD itself, Iggy asks for the listener to write to him if they want to know more, promising he will reply.. I will try write to him, but it will not be easy. He and Bowie are my favourite solo artists and their work has so much influence on me.. and that influence had a big part in making me for so many years already.
David I discovered at 12, Iggy at 13 or 14.
He noticed me well.. I swear a higher power commanded me to dye my hair pink for the exact purpose. Heh, silly me.

I am glad I still feel about concerts like I used to. A lot of people I know go to any concert that is clos and cheap, to get drunk and fight... but I keep it to a minimum to be able to still enjoy it. I only see acts that really matter to me. It creates valuable memories.

How is everyone?

Current Mood: cheerful
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
12:06 pm
He makes my day in such a simple way
And i admire you
and I truly am going to marry you
no joke
I really love you
Iv never cared or felt so much for anyone in my life but you
for you my love is endless and incomparable to anything anyone else has ever felt for another
my love is pure
so i just want to say
I need you

and that i love you

With all of my heart my tender baby

Current Mood: accomplished
Thursday, January 17th, 2008
10:29 am
Hm nice.

More later. ;)
This has been an adventurous, most nuturing week. I'll tell you
all about it.

I liked my test result up there.

Current Mood: awake
Saturday, January 12th, 2008
2:23 pm
Friday, January 11th, 2008
2:06 pm
Nahh, it couldn't be
The Peter Pan complex

avoids responsibilities, people tell them they are childish and need to grow up,
would rather live in their head than the real world, wants success to just happen
to them, focuses on fantasies more than reality, believes they deserve to have
whatever they want, life lacks direction, never know what to do next, does dumb
things frequently, inconsistent performance, lazy, slacker, does the minimum to
get by, does things without thinking, does not feel they have any reason to
accomplish anything, tend to ignore or put off problems, believes fun is the
most important thing in life, most people think they are crazy, forgets scheduled
appointments, more past than future, gets attention through negative behavior

omg lol

Current Mood: amused
1:11 pm
Let's aim for a positive attitude.

I think I know more russian than I thought I knew! So much russian
in Nadsat, the Clockwork Orange language. Korova, moloko, horocho ("horrorshow"),
and so on.

Argh, I can't go into a Clockwork Orange phase now - not with my
big big Absolute Beginners essay that I will start next week :O

I need to finish re-reading C.A. this weekend and then I can concentrate
on Absolute Beginners again.

Anyway.. something funny comes this way

Didn't go to school today, I puked this morning and felt quite ill..
But now it's like 1 o' clock and I feel much better. I think there was
something up with the milk in my milk-coffee at the pub. Our pub is not
what it used to be anyway.. that needed to be said.

I think I didn't show everyone my new tattoo. Took a picture now, especially
for you guys :P Here it is
The big parts are healed and the skin is in the process of getting well.

Now I feel like I need a clockwork orange eye on the back of my neck.. naaah,
don't worry. Not yet at least. *slight smile*

Current Mood: peaceful
Thursday, December 20th, 2007
8:56 am
Jesus doesn't want me for a sun beam.

god damn fucking ties.

Disappointed is not even close to what I feel.
When I freak out next time in paranoia, TELL ME
I'M RIGHT. Because I fucking was right.

Now we are basicly on a "break". A fucking break
after.. wow, 10 days. That has to be some kind of
all time low score. Take it down now.

At least Nora talked to me on the phone for 1 1/2
hours and kept me from acting out the Pure Morning

I don't know how I'm supposed to get through the
day.. tutoring Laura and all. But then again, i'm
lucky there's no school and nobody asking me how
things are going with him...
This shit always happens around Christmas. And I
will NEVER buy a boyfriend a tie again. NEVER.

What does it help me that I still got myself? People
come and go and take pieces with them.

I don't know how I manage to be so calm.
Music holds me tight.

Since I was born I started to decay
now nothing ever ever goes my way.

Current Mood: disappointed
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